How much land did the canadians give back to the natives?
Nunavut.
What is the difference between a mexican and a printer?
A printer has its papers.
What do you call a short mexican?
A paragraph.
How do you pick up a jewish girl?
With a dustpan and a brush.
Why doesn't mexico have a navy?
Cardboard doesn't float.
How do you start an ethiopian rave?
Glue some bread to the ceiling.
Why are pakis bad soccer players?
Everytime they get a corner, they open a store.
Why are jews so good at math?
They have the answers on their arms.
What do black people do before eating chocolate icecream?
They put white gloves on so they don't accidentally eat their hands.
What do you call a paki standing between two houses?
Ali.
Why can't Stevie Wonder drive?
There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.
What is a jew's biggest dilemma?
Free pork.
What is the fastest animal in the world?
An ethiopian chicken.
What do you call a flying jew?
Smoke.
How do you know a black woman is pregnant?
Stick a banana up her vagina and if a banana peel comes out, you know another monkey is on its way.
How man cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they'll just beat the room for being black.
What do you call a black lady getting an abortion?
A crime stopper.
How do you get a jew's number?
Look at their arm.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl says 'who!-who!' and a black one says 'who dat!-who dat!'
What do you call a paki who has been everywhere and done everything?
Bindar Dundat.
What is black and dangerous to cut through?
The line at KFC.
What do you call a bunch of black people going down a hydro slide? [image reference]
A sewage pipe.
What do you call a white man with a big dick?
Michael Jackson.
What do you call an honest paki?
Asif.
When does a black guy become a nigger?
When he leaves the room.
What is the worst part about running 100 meters in under 10 seconds?
Being black.
What is a mexican's favorite activity?
Fencing.
Why are all mexican and black jokes the same?
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
Why were there no black people in The Flinstones?
They were still monkeys.
What film accurately depicts the Obama administration?
Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
Why do black women wear high heels?
So their knuckles don't scrape the ground.
What is the difference between a black woman's nipple and a Hershey's Kiss?
The Hershey's Kiss doesn't smell like shit and it actually tastes good.
How do you get a black guy into a car?
Tell him there is a bucket of KFC in it.
How do you get him out?
You can't; he already took the car.
Why can't two chinese people have a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
What do black people and christmas lights have in common?
They are chained together, not that bright, and only half of them work.
How do you get 1000 ethiopians in a phone booth?
Throw a can of beans in it.
How do you get them out?
Run past with a can opener.
What do you call a black man eating dog shit?
A cannibal.
What do you call five black men hanging from a tree?
An Alabama wind chime.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 14 black men?
A coach.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 2000 black men?
A warden.
Did you hear about that new jewish sports car?
It will stop on a dime.. and pick it up.
Did you hear about that mexican who went to college?
Neither did I.
Why are black peoples' palms white?
There is some good in everybody.
What do you call a mexican that works?
A miracle.
Why did god give black people big dicks?
He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.
What did the black kid say when he had diarrhea?
"I'm melting!"
Why don't black people ride bikes?
They can run faster.
Why don't black people like country music?
When they hear a hoedown, they think their sister has been shot.
What is faster than a black guy?
A jew with a coupon.
How do you starve a black person?
Put his food stamps near his work boots.
What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew?
Harry Potter can escape the chambers.
Why do natives hate snow?
Because it's white and it takes over their land.
What do you call a bunch of black people in a swimming pool?
Cocoa Puffs.
What is common between the human race and jelly beans?
Nobody likes the black ones.
What is the difference between a hockey player and a black woman?
A hockey player changes his pads every couple of months.
What do you call a mexican whose car got stolen?
Carlos.
How do you know an indian has been in your house?
Someone ate your trash.
What does a white girl say while getting raped?
"Dad, get off me!"
You know how they say "there is safety in numbers"?
Tell that to 6 million jews.
What do black people call dumpsters?
Home sweet home.
Why do Somolians drive with the windows closed?
They think the smell is coming from outside.
What happens when a jew with a boner walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
What happens when an asian with a boner walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
What does NASA stand for?
Niggers Aren't Supposed to be Astronauts.
What do you call two black people in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
What do you call a black man with no arms?
Trustworthy.
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He coudln't pay the gas bill.
Why does Beyonce only sing "to the left to the left"?
Because black people have no rights.
What is the difference between bigfoot and a working black guy?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
What is the difference between a black girl and an arab girl?
The black girl gets stoned before she commits adultery.
What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
How many mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
What do you call a mexican on a riding lawnmower?
Promoted.
How many jews died in the holocaust?
Not enough.
How do you kill 100 flies?
Smack a black guy in the face.
What is long and hard on a black kid?
The fifth grade.
How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It's too dark to count.
Why don't you ask a jew for their opinion?
Because they would never share their two cents.
What is common between a black person and a soda machine?
They both don't work and they steal your money.
Why don't jews eat pork?
The Torah prohibits cannibalism.
What do you call an arab with his arm up a camel's ass?
A mechanic.
What do you do if you run over a paki?
Reverse.
Why do mexican cars have tiny steering wheels?
So they can drive while handcuffed.
Why don't mexicans have barbeques?
The beans always fall through the grill.
What do you call 50 pakis at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
When is the only time you can spit in a persian lady's face?
When her moustache is on fire.
What is the difference between a pile of shit and a black person?
After a while, the pile of shit turns white and stops stinking.
What did the mexican say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes!"
Why do jewish women want their men circumcised?
Because they won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.
How do you stop a black person from jumping on your bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.
What does an asian family name their kid if he's retarded?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call an invisible paki?
A fart.
Santa Claus, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican are all sitting at a poker table; who wins?
The dumb mexican; the others don't exist.
When is the only time you should pay attention to a paki?
When he's in the sights of your rifle.
What do you call a mexican who jumps into a pool?
Bean dip.
What is the only thing positive about black people?
HIV.
What is the difference between an african and a pair of jeans?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
What is the word that starts with 'N' and ends with 'R' that you never want to call a black person?
Neighbor.
What do black people and semen have in common?
Only one in a million work.
Why were Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smiling?
They didn't know they were black.
Why do monsters eat white people?
Because crackers taste good.
What is the difference between a black person and an onion?
You don't cry when you cut a nigger up.
How do asian people name their children?
They drop pots and pans down the stairs.
How do mexicans take family portraits?
They get in the back of a pickup and run a red light.
Why do mexicans drive low riders?
So they can pick strawberries while they're driving.
Why do mexicans put their names on their cars?
So they don't steal their own.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What do you call a bunch of asians in a jacuzzi?
A cup of noodles.
Why did the jews walk through the desert for 40 years?
They heard someone dropped a penny.
How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant?
When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.
What do you call an all-black beach?
A litter box.
What do books have that mexicans don't?
Papers.
How do you keep niggers out of the back yard?
Hang one in the front.
What did the little german boy get for his birthday?
An easy-bake oven and a G.I. Jew.
What is common between black people and bicycles?
Neither of them work without chains.
Why did god create seagulls?
To beat the niggers to the trash.
What did god say when he made the first black person?
"Oops, I burned him."
Why do black people eat Tootsie Rolls with forks and knives?
So they don't bite their fingers off.
What do you call a school bus full of white people?
A twinkie.
If the world was a jacket, where would all the black people be?
In the hood.
What do you call a black lady having an abortion?
Crime Stoppers.
Why aren't there any black astronauts?
Because at 20,000 feet, their lips would pop.
How did god create shit?
He stepped on a nigger and gave it a better smell.
What's the difference between a jew and a cigarette?
A cigarette burns faster.
What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed.
What is long and black?
An unemployment line.
What are three things a black guy can't get?
A job, a black eye, and a fat lip.
What is common between black women and seafood restaurants?
They both serve crabs.
What is the difference between a jew and a canoe?
A canoe tips.
How do you know jews are living next door?
There is wet toilet paper on the clothesline.
What is the difference between a truckload of baby niggers and a truckload of bowling balls?
You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What is a mexicans favorite sport?
Cross country.
Why do monkeys always look so sad?
They know they'll be black one day.
What do you say to a black man wearing a suit?
"Will the defendant please rise?"
How many black people can you fit in a closet?
As many as you want; shit is squishy.
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What is the only requirement for a muslim to become a pilot?
He needs to know how to take off.
What does BFI stand for? [image reference]
Black Family Inside.
What does BFI stand for? [image reference]
Breakfast For Indians.
Why do white people go to black people's yard sales?
To get their stuff back.
Why do black people stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
What do you throw to a black person that is drowning?
His wife and children.
What is Hitler's favorite type of drink?
Concentrated Jewce.
What do white people and fences have in common?
They both get jumped by mexicans.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
What do black people carry in their wallets?
A piece of shit.. for ID.
What is the difference between Santa Claus and a jew?
Santa goes down the chimney.
What do you do if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night?
Say "drop it, nigga!"
What is a mexican's favorite book store?
Borders.
Why are black people afraid to sleep?
Because we killed the only one with a dream.
How was the Grand Canyon made?
A jew dropped a penny down a gopher hole.
What is the difference between a tire and a black person?
A tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.
What did the white guy do when his dishwasher broke?
He slapped her.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
the NBA.
How long does it take for a black woman to take a dump?
9 months.
Why shouldn't you let mexicans play UNO?
They always steal the green card.
How do you improve traffic flow in Harlem?
Plant more trees.
What is the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
What do you call a bunch of black old men in a red car?
Sun-Maid Raisins.
What do you call a van full of mexicans?
A can of beans.
What do you do when there is a nigger limping across your yard?
Stop laughing and reload.
What is the difference between a black man and batman?
Batman can go to a store without Robin.
What happens when the suicide hotline closes down?
Terrorists have to find a new source of recruitment.
What does a black person and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
What do you call an anorexic white girl falling off a cliff?
A snowflake.
Why do black people's coffins have two handles?
Because.. who has heard of a garbage can with four handles?
What does pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac
Why do they put cotton in pill bottles?
To remind niggers that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.
What do you call an elevator full of white people?
A box full of crackers.
What is common between skunks and mexicans?
They're both half black, half white, and smell like shit.
Have you ever tasted ethiopian food?
Neither have they.
What is faster than a speeding bullet?
A jew with a coupon.
What is faster than a black man with a TV?
His cousin with a VCR.
Why do black people run away from chainsaws?
Because chainsaws make the sound, "RUN NIGGA NIGGA RUN!"
What is the difference between an elevator and a mexican?
An elevator can raise children.
Why aren't there any mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future either.
What do you call a barn full of niggers?
Antique farm equipment.
What do you call a black priest?
Holy shit.
What is 12 inches and white?
Nothing, they only come in black.
Why don't white people like swimming?
Because crackers get soggy quick.
How can you tell if an asian has robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, your checkbook is balanced, and yet he's still backing out of your driveway.
How can you tell if a nigger has robbed your house?
If it wasn't the asian, it was probably the nigger.
Why do mexicans walk around school like they own the place?
Their dads built it and their moms clean it.
Why do black people have such big nostrils?
That is where god held them with his fingers when he spray painted them.
How do you kill a crowd of jews?
Roll a quarter off a cliff.
How do you start a mexican parade?
Roll a quarter down the street.
What is the difference between a TV and a ninja?
Niggers can't steal a ninja.
Why are black people good basketball players?
They can run, shoot, and steal.
What did the black kid get for christmas?
Your bike.
What do you call a bunch of white guys running down a hill?
Avalanche.
What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill?
Mudslide.
What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill?
Prison break.
Why is there no olympic team for mexico?
All the mexican that can run, jump, and swim are across the border.
What is the same about a rich mexican and a unicorn?
The both don't exist.
Why do all black people run fast?
Because all the slow ones are in jail.
How many white men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, white men will screw anything.
Why were most black slaves adults?
It was hard to pull the children out of the trees.
What is the difference between jews and boy scouts?
Boyscouts come back from camp.
What is the difference between a mexican and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
What is the difference between a mexican and a bench?
A bench can support a family of four.
What do you call an indian on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 5000 indians on the moon?
It's still a problem.
What do you call all the indians on the moon?
Problem solved.
Why can black people drink water from a pond better than anyone else?
They can use their bottom lips as buckets.
What did the white jew say to the black jew?
"Get to the back of the oven!"
How many jews can you fit in a Volks-Wagon?
54; two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ash-tray.
Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a mexican on a bike?
Because the bike might be yours.
What's the difference between a bag of shit and a nigger?
The bag.
What so you call a black doctor?
A nigger!
What do you call four black people, in a car, driving off a cliff?
A waste; you could have fit two more in the trunk.
What did the mexican fireman name his kids?
Hose-A and Hose-B.
Why do jews have huge noses?
Because air is free.
A mexican and a black guy both fall off the top of a building at the exact same time. Who hits the ground first?
Who cares?
A mexican and a black guy are both in the back of a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
How do you disable paki missiles?
Cut the rubber bands.
How do you stop a paki war-tank?
Shoot the guys pushing it.
How do you fit a thousand jews in a car?
Throw a quarter in it.
How do you get them all out?
Tell them that Hitler is driving.
What's the difference between a pizza and a jew?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.
You're locked in a room with Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and a paki. You have a pistol with only two bullets. What do you do?
Shoot the paki twice to make sure he's dead.
How do you know a paki is lying?
His lips are moving.
What do you call a bunch of black people in a school bus?
A rotten banana.
What do you call a crowd of black people around the CN Tower?
Pubic hair.
Why do black people always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads.
How do you find the population of mexico?
Throw a dollar in the street.
How do you find the richest man in mexico?
Find the guy who got the dollar.
What do you call five black guys pushing a car up a street?
Innate strength.
What do you call five white guys pushing a car up a street?
White power.
What do you call five mexicans pushing a car up a street?
Grand Theft Auto.
How do you stop a mexican from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
Put it under a bar of soap.
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
Put it near some work boots.
Did you hear about that mexican who got a job?
Neither did I.
How do you blindfold a chinese guy?
Dental floss.
What do you call a mexican having a shower?
A miracle.
What's the difference between a dog getting run over by a car and a black person getting run over by a car?
There are skid marks leading to the dog.
Why are black people getting stronger?
TVs are getting bigger.
Why don't sharks eat black people?
They think it's whale shit.
Why does LA have so many fags and NYC have so many black people?
LA had first pick.
Why are aspirin pills white?
Because they work.
Why do black people wear wide-brimmed hats?
So birds don't shit on their lips.
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Oops, I put the pubes on his head."
What are the worst three years of a black kid's life?
The first grade.
What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What language do jewish homos speak?
Heblew.
What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed.
